Sunday, December 30, 2007

argh.......the most frustrating thing ever is paying back your student loan. no matter how much you pay on it a month it never seems to go away. I had major debt from student loans after finishing up school. justin and i have been very faithful about paying off this debt and we are down to our last $10,000. but this last chunk feels like it is taking forever. for as long as we've been married we have usually taken birthday and christmas money and dedicated to putting it towards the loan. this year we were, lets take that money and do something crazy with it (you know like buy some new clothes or something---we're pretty crazy over here!!).
so, needless to say we're slowly but surely paying it back. When it is all done we'll have throw a party!!!

p.s. our friends andrew and bill are coming over this evening to play a little game called Carcassonne. it basically rocks hard core...justin got it for his birthday.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

hey sister has started a semi business from her home being a stay at home mom. she is making these very cool wet bags for cloth diaper users. she gave me one for christmas and i really love it!
you should check them out!!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

back from dr....i think we're gonna be okay.
its just gonna be a long couple of days!

trying not be afraid or jump to conclusions but failing in my heart.

well we are home a few days early from our christmas adventures mostly because justin has pneumonia. he went to the hospital yesterday and bam!
so, we are home and i need help! seriously i'll blog more about it later but man has this been rough.
justin sees a dr. this morning around 1030...please pray for him. no seriously.....pray! if you know me, you know that i am freaked out that
there is something more serious.
okay well i am going to sit in my messy house and try and remain calm and take care of our daughter.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

well it is christmas day and everyone in this house is sick--except me and adelaide (at this point).
we still haven't opened the gifts.
yup pretty!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

alrighty friends.....we're headed out.
maybe i'll be able to post while we are away...we'll see.

em--i'll be thinking of you guys!

merry christmas.
enjoy yourselves!


Tuesday, December 18, 2007

happy birthday today to mr justin souza!

Monday, December 17, 2007

yes i know.....lack of posts...sorry.

we are heading out here on wednesday for a 10 day time with justins family. which will be very cool and very hard. hard only because i have a hard time being away from home for that long. i am a real homebody at heart and begin to miss the comfort of my own bed, space. justins brother and sister-in-law and their two kids live in scotland and whenever they come out they come for at least 3 weeks. max i think they've stayed 3 months. i don't know how they do it really and they seem to not mind it much at all. they are very flexible. anyways, i don't really think i am that flexible at heart so sometimes i have a hard time. but i am looking forward to hanging with his family and for the cousins to all meet for the first time. that will be cool.

justin and i have found ourselves fighting with one another a lot lately. i think there is just a lot going on and it always seems easier to take it out on the person who is available most of the time. sucks. but this to shall pass.

spent the weekend watching The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. love it.
gandalf is so bad it is awesome. YOU SHALL NOT PASS! i mean come on.....amazing!
i also just really love sam wise....he is such a hero. yup, love him.

adelaide is such a happy baby. she is so fun and animated and cool. i sometimes wonder how she got that way since i feel like i spend most of my time living in the depths of dispair (those who have seen Anne of Green Gable will appreciate the nod). she is light and i love her so deeply.

we always get to this point in the year and i feel really reflective and excited about the upcoming year. a whole new year ahead. i wonder what lies ahead for me/us. isn't it cool to think we may meet new people and who knows what they will add to our lives. we may go new places, see new things. next year may also be filled with sorrow and loss...who knows really. what i do know is "my times are in your hands."

so with that i'll leave this post.
cheerio friends. keep on rockin'

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

There are a lot of words that i really like to write (hand write):

Moist (and while i like writting the word...i don't like saying the word)

are just some of my favorites. i don't know something about how my letters work with the other letters. i know, i am strange.
what are some of your favorites?

Sunday, December 09, 2007

don't have enough solid brain power left to write a good post.
i did accidently head to the mall today with some friends...won't be doing that again for a long long time!!

Friday, December 07, 2007

a hearty thank you to Infant Motrin....all 3 souzas had a nice sleep last night.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

waking up every hour and a half to two this teething or what??
plus like the one thing i need is sleep to get my milk supply back and guess such thing is happening.

basically we're dying here in the souza house.
any suggestions?

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

the only news here is that our darling girl is getting her 2 front teeth (i guess that is what she wanted for christmas) so sleep in our house doesn't so much look like sleep.

oh wait, theres more

on top of the last couple nights being HORIFIC today we went to a new pediatrician and adelaide fell off the 4 foot high table thingy. yeah it was even more awful than you can imagine. i practically burst into tears. Dr. MacClaren came into the room when he heard me scream and adelaide scream. He was nice and said she looked okay but i didn't. oh lord. it was terrible. no seriously.......AWFUL.

i need a cookie. or 2 or 3 or 4....or maybe even 5

Sunday, December 02, 2007

tonight i am making lots and lots of cookies.

today justin and i were talking and he said, i have 2 dads. one who doesn't love me and one who can't. and today this makes me very sad. (broke my heart into a thousand pieces and it still feels broken right now)
it is getting close to justins birthday and he often finds himself in a funk.
i just love him so much and i think he is so cool and awesome and thoughtful and wonderful and the most amazing daddy, dad, father!

back to the cookies.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

i am so very thankful for our friends who volunteer (free of charge which is amazing!!) to come over and babysit (or just watch tv while adelaide sleeps) for us so we can get out for an evening. it is a really nice blessing. i have a lot of friends who don't have the same type of community and for them i wish i could fly over for an evening just to watch their babies or their tv's.
i have loved the time spent with Justin listening to good music since for the most part that is where we go when a babysitter comes, a concert. i also look forward to the time when adelaide can come with us to these concerts and enjoy some of the tunes with us.

Iron and Wine was fantastic last night! really good.

Thanks friends. We know we are blessed and you are the blessings.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

interested in learning a bit more about this Ron Paul fella.....

hey all,

so my friends are off......waiting for their flight currently.
don't have much time to write (once again) must clean up the house before THIS concert tonight (thank you andrew!)

i think for 2008 whenever i write a blog i am going to also include a really cool quote from some amazing person. i like this idea and i have been encouraged lately by quotes.

oh for the info on the new car. i believe it is an 02 chevy cavilier. it was very well kept and justin seems to really like it. so, yeah........very cool.

Monday, November 26, 2007

wow, too much going on to write a long blog so i'll hit some points.

-friends from NY are here till Wednesday....really having a great time.
-driving through beverly hills saw Sydney Poitier!!!!
-went to The Little Seed which happens to be owned by Soleil Moon Frye (you know, Punky Brewster!)
-saw Sicko (the movie) should check it out 100%
-Adelaide likes to stand up now, even pull herself up on things. she really looks like she wants to walk or something!! CRAZY!!! she also loves to read and play with her books which i think is soooo cute!
-the new season of Project!
-after much toil Justin found us a new used car. it seems like a really great little car and we are so very thankful.
-alright going down to check the mail to see if there is any money :)


Saturday, November 17, 2007

hey, for those of you interested.
Paste Magazine has a really amazing deal right now.
Go check it out!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

hey all.

here we are monday afternoon. this marks the beginning of a crazy month and a half.
i am very excited. i love the hussle and bussle. the visitors. the cooking. the food. sometimes the weather (when it isn't 100 degrees). the parties. the decorated church. the ugly christmas sweaters. making gifts. the movies (love actually!!!). sharing. giving. inviting. man, i dig it all.

right now my house is a mess. the laundry is piled up. we still only have 1 car. adelaides crib sheet has poop on it. oh yeah and she pulls herself up to a stand in the crib (yikkeeeess!!!). i haven't shaved my legs in a looooooooong time.the kitchen floor is really dirty. and guess what.......we are going outside to play with the neighbor children!!!

oh did i tell you guys that tomorrow night for Justin's work christmas party we are going to spend an evening with Rod Stewart. hahahaha, isn't that hilarious. it's gonna be a hoot. i'll have to tell you all about it if i find a minute.

did i also tell you that the new season of Project Runway start Wednesday Night!!! YAHOOOOOOOO!!! Justin and I can't wait. too bad it's from 10-11pm at night. it is gonna be a stretch for me to stay awake that late on wednesdays but i think i'll be able to do it.

hey guys, lets just keep rockin' and rollin'.
don't let the malls fool ya, joy isn't in them (although sometimes i find joy at American Eagle :0).

Joy to the World!!!

P.S. dudes, i bought a pair of jeans and the belt loops in the front are smaller than the ones in the back....have you ever heard of anything so freakin' lame? how am i supposed to wear a dig dang belt?

Saturday, November 10, 2007

been thinking about redoing the decor in our bathroom.
very excited wishing some money would fall from the sky.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

thanks to mle's husband!
and here you have it..........dizzy gillespie is the man on the sweatshirt!
yes, today is the 30th birthday and guess what.........i am home sick. figures right! hahahaha.
"no farther forward just farther along."
peas and love.

Monday, November 05, 2007

So, i have a favorite sweatshirt. there is a picture of a man on the front and i have no clue who he is and so far no one else i know does you have a clue???

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Note to the greater church at large:

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO and instead create space for me to frolic and dance with Jesus!!!! Love me. Keep me.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

per heathers request here are some Halloween photos of Adelaide.

Adelaide was a pumpkin BUT the costume was too small (it was a handmedown) for her so she basically hated every second being in it (as you can see from the photos :)). But you know we had fun! The Piglet is Adelaides friend Kiley and the Elmo is Victoria.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

last night justin and i watched Reign over me.
we rented it on kinda a whim not knowing much about it but LOVING both don cheadle and mr. sandler.
this was a great great film.
such a special movie!
it'll give you a good laugh and a good cry.

the souza family gives it 4 thumbs up!!!

Friday, October 26, 2007

found this on jenny smiths blog and i thought i'd carry it on. i liked it.

Pick up the book nearest you and provide the following information:

Title and Author: banker to the poor by muhammas yunus

Is the book dedicated to anyone? If so whom? does not look like there is a dedication.

What is the first sentence? "chittagong, the largest port in Banglsdesh, is a commercial city of 3 million people."

Turn to page 47. Please share the first sentence of the first full paragraph. Sufiya did not want to waste any more time talking.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

what celebrity baby names do you really like?

i like MADDOX and ZAHARA.
and i also like Ruby.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

a moment of silence please....................

the BUICK is on her last leg.

she's been having some trouble so we took her in. it will cost twice what she is worth to have her fixed up. She's been a good car. We'll lay her to rest sometime soon.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

the souza family recently made the switch from pre-grated bagged cheese to block cheese that you have to grate yourself.

i am really thankful for this change.....the cheese tastes WAY BETTER, it may be a bit more work but well worth it!!

we are back on track with eating (adelaide that is...i really haven't skipped a beat ;)). i think it was her cold/new tooth.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

okay well here are some photos of miss adelaide.
the newest developments (as of the last couple days) is that she is addicted to standing and holding onto things........isn't that nuts!!! like, is she even old enough to be doing that (not in my book!!!).
i would also ask that you take note of her 'girlie' outfit. it has a ridiculous frilly skirt thing attached, yes it is about the girliest thing she's been in BUT the reason we got it is because it says on the front 'fairy garden secret hideaway' and i just loved that!!! ah fairies!
she still is not eating quite as well as she once did, although yesterday she fed about every 3 hours. not today though. oh well, she rocks!

Monday, October 15, 2007


well folks, the truth is i am and have been in such a bad place these last weeks.
i have hinted at some goings on here and there nothing that i can talk to candidly about but Justins family is really going through a tough tough tough (did i say tough) time right now. its awful. its horrible. and it seems to just be getting worse. I just keep telling myself that God is God and He knows everything. He knows wickedness even if everyone else is fooled.

the drama in justins family has just continued to confirm in me my burning hatred towards infidelity and unfaithfulness (in every sense of the word-not just "cheating" but especially cheating). Everyone i know in some way know a few or many people who have been a victim of such selfishness or perpetrated just deplorable acts. why? why? why? not even just in marriage but in dating....why? why? why? it is so selfish and gross. i stay awake at night continuing to think of how much i hate this evil!

on top of all of this nonsense the sickness in our home continues in adelaide. her cough is awful. she still isn't eating during the day. although last night she seems to be hungry every two hours, or course between the hours of 10pm and 6am. it is frustrating for me but i am trying so hard to just go with it and have patience and be very zen like (doubt its working) throughout.

i suppose when it rains it pours and this is just a season and yada yada yada. i just feel yucky.
really really yucky.
i am going to go read in the time left of adelaides morning nap.

i also wish baby weight would just fall off. why do i have to work to get it off?

Saturday, October 13, 2007

i have a bit of good news to share in the midst of dealing with lies, manipulation and shear hatred (don't ask!!)....this morning Justin and I purchased PIT (6th row) tickets to see Bjork a the Nokia live theater in December.
thank goodness.

Friday, October 12, 2007

so as of the last 2 days adelaide has really stoped breastfeeding.
i am hoping it is because she is sick and just got her first tooth (very excitied).
she eats at night but during the day she turns away.

i don't know what to do.

any advice?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

heather told me about this website tonight and it seems to be my new addiction.
i love it.
i have already in one evening found like 10 new books i want to read.

you guys should all join up!!

30th birthday party update:
last night a really fun crazy quirky idea came to me.............i can't share just yet, i need to look into some details. but it could be really fun!!

Sick update:
justin returned to work today after a whole week off sick.
adelaide still has a horrific cough. runny nose seems to have stopped. the dr. gave us an inhaler to help her breathe a bit better although all of today whenever she breathes she wheezes. sad!
i am hanging in there.

life update:
justin and i are really liking this show LA INK. its way cool and making us both want to get tattoos (can you believe even Justin wants a tattoo). yeah, its cool.
i made choclate chip cookies last night...i don't really know why...but yeah i ate 3 this morning. i hate cookies in the morning but for some reason i ate them.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

happy saturday everyone.

the souzas are still home sick.
Justin still feels awful.
Adelaide has a nasty cough but at least last night she slept some (waking up 4 times excluded).
I am probably the healthiest of the group probably because God knows if i go under we're all in trouble. So, hopefully we'll be on the mend in just a few days. its a shame cause today is such an amazingly beautiful day here in dump nasty canoga park.

last night i took a warm bath and i put my head in the water just up to my ears so i couldn't hear anything but the tub filling up. it was lovely to have all sounds drowned out for a few minutes. i just closed my eyes and laid there listening to this sound. i think i may have been able to fall asleep if i laid there longer. i felt peaceful.

so, in about a month i will be turning 30!
isn't that nuts. i suppose i feel 30 although most people are shocked when they find out that i am "that old." maybe that is because i just randomly cut all my hair off (actually it wasn't random at all.....there has been major chaos going on in our lives the past weeks and i needed to feel like i was carring a lighter, i cut my hair off) and people think only young people do that. anyways, i am struggling with this birthday cause i'd like to have a birthday party but that just stresses me out. going to dinner to celebrate is soooo, i don't know normal. i want to do something unique, something special, something that includes friends, something not stressful.

also in terms of gifts....i am toying with the idea of asking for books, new, used...whatever but books that people have LOVED LOVED LOVED so that i can read them and Love love love them too!! here is the draw back of time we move....we have that many more gifts to move (YUCKO). I don't know....this idea is still in the works, probably still needs some refining.

yeah, so......there you have it.
the exciting thoughts of amy..........kinda boring.
oh well, thanks for reading!

grace and peace.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

baby=sick but wanting to play

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

shortly after i posted my last post i read this .......delicious indeed!!!

life is intense.
my baby is sick with a cold.
i have no hair and i am okay with it.

someday maybe we'll live in a house.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

i am a free woman.
A new beginning.
A fresh start.
They were fun while they lasted.
Glad i did it.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

have i got a blog for you.........................

so, last night Justin and I had plans to go see OVER THE RHINE at the Knitting Factory. Our good friends John and Val offered to come and babysit (which was sooooo cool). Thanks John and Val.

anyways, we get there right as the opening band plays, meet up with some of my old co-workers and spot some of Nathan's (justin's brother) friend's from Fresno...yada yada yada.
Over the Rhine starts their set and it is AMAZING, they played most of their new album The Trumpet Child. Towards the end of the set Karyn starts out by saying well i usually have a long set up here before this song but we received a letter and then Linford says yeah, a beautifully written letter that i am tempted to read to you all. and i kinda look at justin and he is like listen amy, listen.....and then karyn starts talking about a 5 o'clock shadow and how she loves it as much as AMY SOUZA (WHAT THE FREAK!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! I ABOUT DIED!!!!!). Then they asked where i was (we were right down front) so i raised my hand and they were like smiling at me and i was balling my eyes out and then they started playing TROUBLE!!! This moment was like something out of the movies....i remember the song, i remember what they said but then it also all seems like a blur!

My husband Justin wrote them a beautiful letter (he let me read when we got home) and it actually got to them and they did what he had asked them to do........AMAZING!
anyways, then after the show we went to the road guy and said hey i'm the girl they were speaking of could we please say thank you in person. He said sure wait here. Then they ushered us back stage and IN PERSON we got to chit chat with Linford Detweiler and he said so, you're doing the mom thing now....hee hee. anyways, they were super gracious and awesome and amazing and wayyyyyyyyyyy coooooool!!!

can you believe my husband. he is so thoughtful and wonderful.....i mean really who does stuff like that! was so amazing.....just exactly what we both needed in these days.
Awesome! Really Really Awesome!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

last night we made these kits to send to World Vision who will then send them to caregivers of folks with AIDS.It was great fun and i wanted to post some photos!
The kits are really easy to put could do it to!

i am really worried and sad for Brittany Spears.
she is really going walking through the storm right now.
i hope she has people in her life that really truely are surrounding her and supporting her.
people that have genuine love for her.
Does she?

i wish i could just hang with her and give her a great big hug!
maybe have her over for dinner and watch Survivor?
not sure there is anything i can really do but it is painful watching her turmoil.

my hope for miss spears is that grace upon grace will fill her to the brim.
someday soon.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Justin and I went to see WICKED yesterday!
Oh just amazing.
It was so fun because neither one of us knew the story or had seen it before. We were being told a story we hadn't heard before!
A+ from the Souza Family.

It made me so excited for when Adelaide gets a bit older and she is able to attend these events with us! There were lots of kids there yesterday! Fun times!

If you get the chance to see it.............YOU FOR SURE SHOULD!!!!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

here is a cute photo from today! Enjoy the weekend.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

very interested in seeing this movie!

i have lost my wallet for the first time that i can remember.
man, i do hope i find it.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

today i remember the thousands of people who died in the World Trade Center.
today i remember the thousands of men, women and children who have died in Iraq.
today i remember the thousands of men and women who signed up to serve.
today i remember that those who live by the sword die by the sword.
today i remember that peace is attainable.
today i remember that until i am able to throw the first stone i should walk in love.

peace and love friends!

Monday, September 10, 2007

watching Monday Night Football with Justin tonight i learned something new.

i always thought that when the coach covered his mouth with the board or paper or something...i thought he was hiding his mouth so people couldn't see what he was saying.
tonight i learned that the reason he does that is cause it is loud and covering his mouth makes his voice louder and more clear in the mic.

who knew!!!

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I saw this and couldn't help but think HELL YA and repost!!!

Open letter to Owen Wilson


This is a bit of a departure for me, as I’m not in the habit of writing fan letters.In fact, the last one I sent was a bubble-lettered note to the actor Jon Cryer about 20 years ago in the wake of his earth-moving (for a 16-year-old alt-chick from the suburbs) portrayal of Duckie Dale in “Pretty in Pink.”
But under the circumstances, I thought it was OK to err on the side of sycophancy.
So …Thank God you’re still with us, brother.
Please don’t try that again. We need you.
And by we, I mean the world.
As you well know, these are precarious, fraught times we live in, and the one thing we cannot bear to lose is our sense of humor.
To paraphrase that great celluloid shaman Elwood Blues, you, Mr. Wilson, are on a mission from God.

Just a ‘TV friend’
Laughter is carbonated holiness, and you, therefore, are a holy man, at least according to the theology of Anne Lamott. She’s my favorite writer, a funny lady who is as acquainted with melancholy as she is with humor.I once asked Annie whether she thought we — people — could be grace for one another. “I think we can hold space for other people,” she said.

In that way, you have been grace for me.
On certain overwhelming days, when it’s hard to catch my breath and bleakness curls around my heart like a purring cat, I can reach for any of your films — “Rushmore,” “The Royal Tenenbaums,” “Life Aquatic” or “You Me and Dupree” — and laughter liberates my soul.
Your words, written or spoken, sometimes provide the space for joy where it felt like there was none.Thank you for that.Now, I don’t know you from Adam.
You’re just a “TV friend,” as they say.
Still, I can’t help but believe that the common thread in your character portrayals — whether it’s whacked-out-on-mescaline Eli Cash, self-effacing fatherless Ned Plimpton, or tiny-cowboy-with-a-Napoleon-complex Jedediah — is the inherent you. The Owen-ness.
It’s a certain empathy — profound tenderness, really — that makes the ridiculous compelling and buoys tragedy to comedy.

Seeing with God’s eyes
It is precisely because of your wounded-ness and the visible cracks in your veneer that your characters transcend two-dimensional clownishness.You are the ne’er-do-well we root for in spite of himself (and our own judgementalism). You bring out the best in us and make it easy to forgive setting the living room on fire or crashing our wedding (or funeral). You are the mensch, the fool for the Lord, the stranger whom we let in, the divine comedian.

One blogger, a journalist who apparently knew you in Austin, Texas, back in the day, described you recently in a heartfelt essay as “a human sunbeam in the abyss.”I’m guessing, given recent events, that kind of description may seem laughable to you. Still, that’s how many folks perceive you even if you can’t see it yourself. And sometimes strangers can see us far more clearly than we are capable of seeing ourselves. If we’re really lucky, they might see us with God’s eyes.

I had to chuckle at one of the news reports about your hospitalization that breathlessly reported you had visited a Santa Monica church the Sunday before the incident, “either out of desperation or devotion.'’ Really, I can think of no better reasons to go to church. After all, to quote Annie again, the best two prayers one can offer to the Creator are: “Help me, help me, help me,” and “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”Should you find yourself back at that church or another, please know it is meant to be a shelter in the storm, the place where brokenness is the only prerequisite for membership, and where grace is shared by the bucketsful.Know that you don’t struggle alone, that you have kind company during dark nights of the soul, that you are lifted in prayer by those who know and love you best, as well as by those who only know you as the voice of Lightning McQueen.

Please let others hold space for you until the encroaching shadow of despair passes. And it will.And when your contagious laughter bubbles to the surface and overflows once again, know that you are in the presence of the holy.

We need you and the peals of holy laughter you inspire

Friday, September 07, 2007

okay, can i tell you something totally freaky.
yesterday around 1 or 2pm i was playing with adelaide in her room when i heard one of her toys go off. it's this gym thingy that plays Old MacDonald. it usually only goes off when you press a button or pull on the rings. anyways, i went in to check it out and it was turned OFF!!! seriously....but wait, that is not all. Then this morning at 3:00am as Justin and I slept it went off again!! so, i got totally freaked out! Justin went out and checked it.........OFF!!!

what the heck........we have a possessed gym at our house!

If we die this weekend check into the gym wouldya!

Thursday, September 06, 2007

okay, well i have made some sense of figuring out a new layout......i just can't seem to find how to put comments.....maybe a little more time and i'll have that in the bag.
I have added a bunch more links that i love to the side and i may even add some books or something......anyways.....let me know what you think (well once i have comments :))

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

guys, i have really messed this thing up......i can't seem to get it back to normal........HELP.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

hey everyone................we're back.

Adelaide did FANTASTIC traveling-on the airplanes, on the car rides, on the boat ride. She was excellent. NOT a problem at all. She also adjusted very well to the time change which was nice.
Last night when we got home around 9:30pm it was over 100 degrees in our APT!!!! It was sooooo hot!!!

We had an amazing time with family and seeing the sights in Minnesota. We spent one afternoon learning the ropes of shooting massive weapons (from my bro-in-law) was quite an adventure to say the least (if you know either Justin or I you know it was a stretch to shoot these things)!

Overall we had a great time and look forward to going back soon!
Here are some photos to tied you over!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

we fly out this evening......and my anxiety levels are THROUGH THE ROOF right now (i hate flying). Plus we are all sick!

Oh Lord, have mercy on us!!! seriously, please!

Check it out........please.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

still sick...kinda worse than before.
headed to a trip to visit my family which i am very excited about.....wish we felt better!!!
yeah...just wanted to let you know we're still alive.......barely.

happy birthday tomorrow kathryn

Friday, August 24, 2007

Today Adelaide and I will be attending a Talent Show here.......we are very excited.
Have a great weekend everyone.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

hey all........adelaide was 5 months old this last weekend.
when i look back i can hardly believe all the changes in is pretty amazing.
she basically rocks big time and we love her a lot!
next weekend she will be riding an airplane for the first time (YIKEEEES!!!).....
Here are some photos for you to enjoy!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

as i sat this morning on my noisy balcony with adelaide i wondered why i associate peace with silence....could i not find peace in noise?

Monday, August 20, 2007

welcome to the world Hannah Strauss.

P.S. We watched Miss Potter the other night and both Justin and I loved it!
I can hardly wait to dive into her work with Adelaide. I showed Justin the 2 books that I have that were given to me December 1977 (thanks Grandma and Aunt Roberta). They are sooo cool.
Hmmmm, not to mention I quite like the name Beatrix.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

today, i just am in love with Justin.
He is cool.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

oh man.........ANOTHER one.........hope this doesn't mean there is a big one on the horizion......we'll see

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

my home is a mess.
we don't have food in the fridge.
my daughter is majorly crabby ( i think she's teething).
my hair is frizzy.
my armpits stink.
it is really stinking hot.

yup, its a jonah day.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

yes, earthquake last night.......we felt it.....all is well.
scared the bjesus out of us though......only knocked over one photo

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

i wanted to show you guys our current drum collection.

aren't the drums so cool. one really exciting thing is adelaide's favorite thing is drums....she LOVES them.

The drums from L to R....Jamaica (from our honeymoon), Dominican Republic (J's bro Nick), India (amys trip to india), Costa Rica (J's bro Nick) and our newest addition (thank you bowling family) from Honduras.

Cool huh!!!

P.S. saw the worst movie last night........Marie Antoinette with kirsten dunst.....YUKCO. but um didn't Marie end up getting beheaded or something? I couldn't remember.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Big News here in the Souza House.....this Saturday Adelaide decided it was time to have a different view of the world and began sitting up straight without any help. It is very exciting but it makes her look so old. I mean, she's just a wee could she already be sitting up.
Amazing this little girl is.
Anyways, wanted to let you all know the exciting news...................

P.S. was able to chew on this this morning.......

my utmost for his highest....August 5th
"if we are in communion with God and recognize that He is taking us into His purposes, we shall no longer try to find out what His purposes are. "

Thursday, August 02, 2007

i have a new book on baby food and making your own baby food.
SUPER BABY FOOD is the name...hahaha. anyways, in one chapter it has all these ways to grow things.......lots of ideas (hopefully my tiny balcony can hold all these plants) also is mostly dedicated to making your own baby food. I am VERY excited about this.
My friend Karen has already dove right in since her baby Kiley is already gulping down solids.
Adelaide will be waiting a big longer.........BUT i am very excited!!!

SUPER BABY FOOD here we come..............

adelaide is 4 1/2 months old!!
she is awesome..........i leave you with a few photos from our recent holiday at the coast!
P.S i couldn't figure out how to get the photos at the bottom...oh well.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

I found out my friend from high school Lennard Chen passed away.
Random news.
I am sad about this news.....
Random news.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

…invite 6 people (alive or dead) who i have no real chance of dinning with, who would they be?

- the person has to either be a) dead, or b) alive, but no way you’ll ever have a chance to have dinner with them.- real people only. no fictional characters.- it’s not 6 individual dinners. it’s a dinner party with 6 people (plus you). think of the mix.- assume no language barriers. in other words, it doesn’t matter if they speak or spoke another language than you and your other guests. you have magic instant translation technology.- jesus doesn’t count. it’s a dinner party. therefore, 2 or more are gathered. therefore, jesus is already there.

okay after much is my list.
1. Amy Carmichael--missionary to India, and overall amazing human
2. Oprah Winfrey--cause she is so interesting
3. Anne Lamott--just cause she is
4. Will Ferrell--he would make it all worth while
5. Shane Claiborne--he and oprah would have good discussion!
6. and finally........Francesca Lia Block--author of many amazing books including the Weetzie Bat Series

places i would like to go on vacation:

napa valley
martha's vineyard
scotland-west kilbride
prince edward island
seattle, wa

Friday, July 20, 2007

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

i am really tierd of people raising money for things.
it has really been getting on my nerves.
mostly because i never see what they actually do with the money.
like the big american idol money thing............FRUIT?? what's gone down with that money??
i don't know....i'm not into it.

at least oprah shows me what she does with the money.

ah poo.

Monday, July 16, 2007

what i learned about myself this weekend--by amy souza

i am a terrible housesitter.
i get super afraid and make up things in my head about being killed in the house.
i don't sleep and then my left eye burns.
my poor husband........

Thursday, July 12, 2007

okay, jenny smith made me do this a/i have never done one before and b/i am not gonna tag other people cause i don't really here it goes.........

The rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

8 random facts about me:

1. i gave myself freckles on my shoulders cause my friend had them and i wanted them. I bet you are wondering how....well, i would get sunburned and peel my shoulders but i would leave some semi dead skin on them without picking it off and WA LA. (note to self: i'll probably end up with cancer of the shoulder--but hey, at least i had freckles)

2.i am obsessed with thinking about dying. i am fascinated when others die and i spend a lot of time thinking about how i will die. i even wake up in the morning and think......i wonder if i am going to die today. people who are murdered and their stories sometimes keep me awake at night. also, sometimes when we are driving i will think i wonder if that car is going to hit us and we are going to die. weird right!

3. i hate capitalizing my i's.

4. after having adelaide i now have massive stretch marks on my tummy and i am SUPER DUPER self-conscious of them. my body will never be the same again. permantantly altered!
justin says at least they are not on my face, which is a good point but still.

5. i was a junior high youth director at my church for about 6 years and i am not sure i was a very good one.

6. i sometimes really want to just pick up and move somewhere else. anywhere really--in the states, outside the states. anywhere where there are new people to meet and new sights to see.

7. i pick my toe nails, always have and probably always will.

8. i have a style in my head that i really want to dress like...but somehow i always seem to miss the mark and end up super disappointed with my "look" and just feel boring.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

don't forget to get your free slurpee from 7-11 today on this 7-11-07

Monday, July 02, 2007

hey guess what everyone...........i can roll over now! I love the freedom......tummy here i come!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

what are some things that you guys really dislike about yourself?
I have a few I can name today.......

A. i am really a complainer
B. i hate how i have to be prompt
C. i sometimes get jealous if someone has something i really want (a house, in particular)
D. i think my baby is cuter than most
E. i never ever feel comfortable in my clothes
F. sometimes I forget to be really really really thankful

P.S in other news......I watched this video today and balled my eyes out!!!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Monday Morning here is what my hair looked like.........................

14 hours later here is what it looked like......................

Saturday, June 23, 2007

you better believe that I just bought adelaide THIS shirt!!!

Friday, June 22, 2007

was reading in Job this morning and was struck by this verse...."then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." (2:13)

and it reminded me of a story from Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies that I had read some time ago, Barn Building.

It just reminded me how important it is to simply show up for someone in their sorrow or in their grief. Words can be small and few. But yeah, showing up..........that's massive!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

right now Justin is doing the most beautiful interpretive dance of some song for Adelaide and i wish you could see him.

happy fathers day to him!

p.s. adelaide is wild with delight!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

12 1/2 weeks old.....


can you guys from memory remember all the 10 Commandments? I get so annoyed with myself because I can never remember all 10!! ARGH! How is it I can remember my friends from elementary school phone numbers but I can't seem to remember the stinking 10 Commandments......

Monday, June 11, 2007

"I love Thee, Lord, but with no love of mine,
For I have none to give;
I love Thee, Lord; but all the love is Thine,
For by Thy love I live.
I am as nothing, and rejoice to be Emptied,
and lost, and swallowed up in Thee."

Thursday, June 07, 2007

the other night we were chatting with some friends about famous people that we have crushes on.
Here are the two fellows that I named......

Bear Grylls from Man vs. Wild.......this guy is nuts and a total babe.
Ben Ottewell the lead singer from the band Gomez

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Friday, May 25, 2007

Thursday, May 24, 2007

here you have it.....the first little tidbit of the show my friend Selena filmed. Oh the link just takes you to the page then you click NEW SERIES then go to WHEN WOMEN RULE THE WORLD.
She is the small on third from the Right............HILARIOUS!!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Kiley Michelle
Mary Alice

Meredith Grace

Adelaide Esme
Timothy Douglas

Rachel Lianne
Felix Vincent

Kyle David (just born last night to friends Jono and Erin)

That is a lot of babies!!! I am probably even forgetting some.
and there is more to come...........CRAZY!!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

anybody know what Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne were doing Sunday afternoon?

Oh wait, I do.......they were at a birthday party for a 1 year old. The same party we were at!!
Up that's right Ozzy even made goo goo eyes at Adelaide and teased her. Yup, pretty cool!

My plan was to try and get a part time job working for them but it didn't pan out.

Friday, May 18, 2007

loved The Office season finale! can't wait for next season.

I am dreading Monday....I have to take Adelaide to get her first round of shots! YUCKO.
I don't want to see them give her the darn shots AND I don't want to see her not feeling well. :(

I am glad it is Friday and we have the weekend ahead of us.
Enjoy your weekend folks!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Sunday, May 13, 2007

what do you do if you know that it is someones dream to do something and they are just awful that something?

for example.....
someone wants to be a singer and they are a really awful singer.
or an actor and they are like a totally cheesey actor.

Do you tell them? gently and lovingly OR do you fully support their dream and zip your lip?

Saturday, May 12, 2007

41 cents starting Monday for postage!
I really like sending handwritten letters and stuff.
I remember when the stamp was 25 cents.

Monday, April 30, 2007

today we celebrate 2 things.

Adelaide is 6 weeks old and she had a new little cousin born last night, her first male cousin.



Today I also remember the life of George Reitz, as today marks one year since his resurrection.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

5 years ago today Justin and I decided we should see if going steady suited did.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I will never watch the video from that guy who murdered all the students at VT.
Knowing what he did is enough for me.
Plus, me watching that video is exactly what he wanted me to do.
I could live with never seeing his ugly face ever again.
I wish the news would never show it again.

P.S. sorry for the downer post....I know looking at pictures of Adelaide is way better!!!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Upon Kat's request.............5 weeks old and cute as a button!!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Adelaide is 4 weeks old today. I can't believe it.

One would think that in these 4 weeks I have figured somethings out. Nope, sorry to report but I still feel like a major knob-head when it comes to caring for this little life. VERY low confidence here!!!
It's hard because folks around me seem to really know what they are doing...or at least feel commited to a "style" of parenting. I feel lost in a sea of advice which I seem to really need since I can't figure out what to do on my own.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

today's two words are.........GROWTH SPURT. Or should I say yesterday's words. Yesterday Adelaide fed every hour and a half!!!! That is craziness. It is hilarious cause just when I think I've got her making some sense to me.....she pulls a fast one on me! I hear these spurts should only last a day or so. Thank goodness!

She was 3 weeks old yesterday......and i forgot to take her picture (maybe the cow complex warped my mind a bit). She is getting bigger, I can tell. She is such a cool kid! I like having her around. Hopefully I'll get better at this mother thing. It is rough!! I mostly feel like my daughter is pretty chill but her mom is the freaky problem.

In other you think American Idol has rigged it so Sanjaya is still on the show? Like are they pulling it for drama or do you really think his votes have kept him in?? hmmmmm.......

Saturday, April 07, 2007

one word for you........mastitis....when it rains it pours!!!

Friday, April 06, 2007

still no sleep......our help goes home today around 3pm. Justin comes home from work around 6:15pm.....then Monday I am on my own.

Guys, I am nervous, scared, excited, and tierd.

wish I had more to say..................

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

if you are the praying type........would you please pray that tonight I could get some restful sleep. I am beyond exhausted and haven't slept in quite awhile which is making everything ALOT harder. I know this is part of the drill...........but please pray that this evening when Adelaide is asleep her mom could also get deep restful sleep for at least a couple hours.


Monday, April 02, 2007

Adelaide is already 2 weeks old........think she looks different?
Don't you love that look
P.S Doug and Dani had their son on 3/31..Timothy Douglas....everyone is doing quite well!!!

Saturday, March 31, 2007

so, this parenting job is pretty tough and kinda scary! Here are some of my random thoughts.....

my emotions feel all over the place.
I mostly feel like I don't make much sense any more.
I feel like Justin knows how to do everything better than I do.
I am nervous about Justin's return to work.
I am nervous about how Adelaide spits up a lot (we'll find out on Monday if it's reflux or what).
I am tierd. But excellent news is Justin and I got 3 hours of sleep last night in a row...I am so thankful for that.
Mostly, i just feel scared. I want to do what is best for this little helpless baby and it is all so overwhelming.
Folks have been doing this for centuries and I suppose I shouldn't worry........hahaha, but of course I do.
I just keep reminding myself that the Lord knows what is going on and he is with us. Seriously, I sometimes just call out.......HELP ME!

So, thank you friends for just listening. Sometimes advice isn't what one needs in these times. Just a good listen and an encouragment......"you're normal," "this gets easier," "you look thinner (hahahaha!!).

I promise that at some point I won't only blog about baby stuff. I'll try and get more creative.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Happy one week of life Adelaide!

Thanks for all your encouragement guys! Things are going well!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

way better put by my husband...........................

"And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character." - Ruth 3:11
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." - Proverbs 31:10
* Adelaide = Noble; or "of noble kind"

It is our desire to be very intentional about the names we give to the children God blesses us with. Upon learning that our first child was to be a female, we searched the Scriptures to find what kind of character, spirit, and attitude God is pleased to see in a woman. The above referenced versus really resounded loudly in our hearts, and we soon discovered the name, "Adelaide." We were very excited to find a name that reflected our deep conviction for this child, and to find it to also be pleasant sounding, unique, and beautiful.

Adelaide's middle name is Esme. As you know, Amy was adopted, and has never known a blood relative. This is the first time in her life where she is able to have connection with someone of her own biological family. Amy's name (Amy) means "beloved." Esme is an old French name that also means "beloved," "loved," or "esteemed," and is a derivative of the name, Amy. This middle name we picked out reflects what we hope we can offer Adelaide and also provides for a connection in name with her mother. We think it's really pretty sounding too (e-zum-ay)!!!!

Now you know the scoop as to how we decided on Adelaide's name, and would love for you to join us in continuous hope and prayer that her heart would grow responsive to the Lord, and that she would someday become a woman of noble character. Thank you.

Much love,

Justin and Amy Souza

Friday, March 23, 2007


From the Germanic name Adalheidis which was composed of the elements adal "noble" and heid "kind, sort, type"

--there are a few different places in the Bible (proverbs 31; book of Ruth) that speak of women of "noble" character. Our prayer and hope for our daughter is that she will grow into a woman of noble godly character.

Means "esteemed" or "loved" in Old French

--Esme has the same meaning as Amy...esteemed, loved or beloved. We thought that was cool.

So.....there you have it!!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Adelaide Esme Souza (check out for meanings) born Monday, the 19th of March. Weighing 8lbs, 7 ozs and was 20 inches long.

She and mom are doing quite well. Adelaide has a bit of jaundis but nothing a few days won't clear up!!

She rocks!!!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

been having contractions most of today.....into the evening......we'll see

Monday, March 12, 2007

no baby yet.......and probably not one until early next week!
we're doing fine!!

Hopefully she will be able to come out naturally with all this waiting!!!

We'll let you know.
Pray that I don't go nutz this week with no work!!!!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

last night as I preparing dinner I dropped a pan on my left big toe.
It hurt so stinking bad!!!
It also got swollen right away AND black and blue.

AND i couldn't even reach down to touch my toe and hold it!!

Smart right......the week of my due handicap myself.

yup, i am brilliant!!!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

i really just have always liked the month of March.
I don't know exactly why except maybe cause I like the color green and green always reminds me of March. Or maybe because in Little Women that is the families last name....the March Family. Who knows.....I'm weird!

I got out all my green stuff for around the house and it made me so happy.

I am also happy that this baby will be born in March.

Yeah, I just like March!!

P.S. why does it seem like every weekend Legends of the Fall is on TV.....weird right?!!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

no baby yet!
all is well......still working, still feeling good!

Thanks for you calls!

We'll letcha all know when it does down!!


Thursday, February 22, 2007

One thing that really annoys me about American Idol is when the singer holds up their number with their fingers!!! Argh.........just stand there people! Keep your fingers to yourself.


Monday, February 19, 2007

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Justin finished painting the dresser and bookshelf!
Don't they look cool!
Anyways, the room is pretty much complete!
Like the piano in there??!!! hahaha. Its the black and brown part of the room.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The baby's room is coming together.

We painted the bookshelf and the drawers are almost done being painted.

All that is left is a little bay bay.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Justin and I have spent a lot of time this week talking about raising a daughter in this world.


Monday, February 05, 2007

36 weeks and counting!!!

We are getting more and more excited to meet this little life. She is moving around like shes dancing in the womb!!

All in all pregnancy has been an enjoyable experiance. I never had morning sickness (outside the time I puked when I drank OJ first thing in the morning). Had some up and down emotions there in the middle but nothing to extreme. So far I have avoided the pregnancy nose, although it usually rears it's ugly head the last there is still time. Our baby room is coming together and currently we feel as ready as were gonna be. Our Bradley Instructor (which I highly recommend taking the Bradley Class) will be serving as our doula and both moms are set to come stay with us for about a week each!! Seems like the only thing left to do is have a baby right!

My last day of work will be March 9th (due date March 11th). I am actually really quite excited to stop working. I have a feeling that a new host of things to become involved in will open up and I am excited to see what those things will be.

So, yeah..........all is well!!