Monday, October 15, 2007


well folks, the truth is i am and have been in such a bad place these last weeks.
i have hinted at some goings on here and there nothing that i can talk to candidly about but Justins family is really going through a tough tough tough (did i say tough) time right now. its awful. its horrible. and it seems to just be getting worse. I just keep telling myself that God is God and He knows everything. He knows wickedness even if everyone else is fooled.

the drama in justins family has just continued to confirm in me my burning hatred towards infidelity and unfaithfulness (in every sense of the word-not just "cheating" but especially cheating). Everyone i know in some way know a few or many people who have been a victim of such selfishness or perpetrated just deplorable acts. why? why? why? not even just in marriage but in dating....why? why? why? it is so selfish and gross. i stay awake at night continuing to think of how much i hate this evil!

on top of all of this nonsense the sickness in our home continues in adelaide. her cough is awful. she still isn't eating during the day. although last night she seems to be hungry every two hours, or course between the hours of 10pm and 6am. it is frustrating for me but i am trying so hard to just go with it and have patience and be very zen like (doubt its working) throughout.

i suppose when it rains it pours and this is just a season and yada yada yada. i just feel yucky.
really really yucky.
i am going to go read in the time left of adelaides morning nap.

i also wish baby weight would just fall off. why do i have to work to get it off?