Sunday, November 08, 2009

32 years.
32 feels older than 31 which is strange cause usually the next birthday doesn't feel older. but yesterday, i felt older.
32...this year needs to be a more intentional year.
some changes ahead perhaps? ch-ch-changes!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

all i know is that i feel like i am walking through the storm of my life.
"stuff" can really only be/stay buried for so long until.........KABOOM.
what lays beneath the surface for me is coming out and hurting me and those around me.
i suppose the fact that it is here glaring me in the face means its time to deal with it.

this anger is burning me.
there is only a thin layer keeping this rage at bay.

Lord have mercy on me, sinner that i am.

Monday, October 19, 2009

adelaide has figured out she can get out of her big girl bed at night!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!
i mean she doesn't do it in the middle of the night but when we put her to bed if she isn't the perfect tierd...up and down, up and down we go. she has been sleeping in this bed i think for like 2/3 months or something and she just figured it out.

tonight i made homemade corn dogs. they were good.
we bought hot dogs from trader joes and followed THIS reciepe. they were a hit! we had sweet potato fries and green salad with it. overall a great meal.

i just realized my brain hurts.....adios.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


8-8-08 at 8:08pm


one year later 9-9-09

we're here because.
we're here because.
we're here because.

Friday, October 09, 2009

i just wish i lived close to woods.
i'd like to have a bonfire.
why is it so difficult to find a spot to have a bonfire in all of southern california.
i'd also like to have a nice big meal with my friends in the woods next to the bonfire.
i saw photos from a friends equinox gathering and boy it made me want to live close to woods.

its october. i love october.
i have already made 2 new soups....potato and onion soup and broccoli soup. both were great!

i've been thinking alot lately about our current living arrangements. i'd like to blog further about them but for now i am just super thankful. we are starting our second year living here at "the mouth" as we like to sometimes call it. starting our second year of living with john and val. and man, in my estimation it is going quite well (they could tell you different...). we had a discussion recently about what we would have regretted NOT doing while we lived together if/when we moved out. so hopefully we can be making sure we do some of those things. i have also enjoyed how open our home has felt. we have friends over quite a bit and i love it. anyhow...just feeling thankful.

next weekend we will be pumpkin patching with grandma at Lombardi Ranch. i love the train ride there...so does adelaide! i am looking forward to this.

well...until next time.
peace.

Monday, September 21, 2009

"A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living, I think."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i have met a few new friends lately.
this is cool.
i like meeting new folk.
i especially like meeting folks who i don't think are my "type" and end up being a great friend.
its good like that.

i have missed my yoga class for 3 straight weeks. MAJOR bummer.
but other stuff--more important stuff-has been popping up.
next week BABY..i'll be back on the mat.

i wish i was better at Boggle.
i love playing it..but am not very good.

my kids are really cool.
adelaide is just the most fun. her imagination has kicked into high gear and she LOVES playing and making up stories...its way cool.
ezra has a tooth and is sitting up and super duper smiley.

the weather has been cooler for the past 2/3 days...i like this alot.
last night we had the windows open and felt the breeze...delicious.

fluff...i am talking fluff.......but i kinda just feel like these are the things i've been thinking about lately...fluffy stuff.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

well this morning i am sitting at panera bread with some time to myself.

what is on my mind is feeling like such a personal matter but i also feel like writing it out may help...so be gentle with me friends.

this post baby #2 body is killing me man.
the aches, the pains, the flab, the stretch marks....all of it.
its also overwhelming.

i have started taking a yoga class that is currently just plain amazing!!
to have the space to check in with myself and my body has been great but also kinda painful.

i miss the pre-baby body. is that selfish to say?

anyhow, i don't just want to be a complainer and sit around and not do anything...so hopefully once these kinda intense emotions settle i can find the umph to kick this body back in gear.

ahhhh......bodies, shells, one day this body will leave this earth and i would hate to have spent too much time dwelling on it or not having spent any time at all. i think its important to take care of the body. i want to do a better job at it.

so, those are the thoughts this morning.
FLAB be gone ( oh man i wish it was that easy)!!!!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

alright dudes...rock this geography challenge.
leave your scores in the comments.

Here is my 1st try score: 82%---40 miles---256 seconds

BEAT IT! BOOSH.

doesn't it kinda feel like twitter has taken over for blogging.
I mean you can write quick little updates all day long.
i am better at writing short updates anyhow.

both my kids are asleep and i am sitting in my living room.
my friend just gave me the book crazylove (by francis chen) to read.
i look forward to it.

we are going to portland for thanksgiving.
i am really excited to visit this town and see what it is all about!!

our backpack project went awesome.
feels really exciting to know every single student in one school has access to a new backpack this year.
hahaha...awesome.

my friends neighbor gave us her old high chair for Ezra's future use.
this thing is amazing...its called a Peg Pergo Prima Pappa (i think).
it does everything but clean itself.
i am thankful.

we have picked about 5 tomatoes from our plants this year.
we learned that our soil has low calcium so a lot of our plants had brown bottoms.
next year we will mix in some egg shells and hopefully that will help.

this summer has been a very interesting time.
i feel like i have been learning a lot and could use sometime to sit and really process.
i started taking a yoga class with some girlfriends.
our first one was last tuesday.
the silence. the stretching. the encouragment to listen to my body. the prayer. it was all just what i needed.

anyhow friends...life is moving along.
no farther forward, just farther along is what i always say (well bebo norman said it first but i stole it and say it all the time now).

i hope you guys are enjoying your day.
peace.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

man, beyond slacker....right!
well i just am kinda thinking that i don't have that much to say anymore.
even though really i probably do.

so maybe my blog will just mellow for a time and then i will get back to her.
oh i never called my blog a her before but it just felt right.

i will blog in sentances for right now cause it feels correct.

i love the beach.
our camera broke.
ezra is one VERY smiley baby.
adelaide likes to scream very loud and be totally awesome.
justin is working hard and totally cute.
we WILL provide one new backpack filled with school supplies to an entire school this August.
i love playing Boggle.
our tomatos are almost red.
our house is full.
i prefer hymns.
i have a sewing machine.
i want to take a yoga class.
i miss my college friends.
i haven't written a letter in awhile.
tonight i will enjoy a late dinner with my man.

hey friends--enjoy today why don'tcha.

Friday, June 26, 2009

i am a terrible blogger person.
forgive.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

hey friends,
so the week approaching is one i am thinking is gonna be tough going.
justin is headed to scotland for the week.
so, i will be on my own with the kiddos.

the good news is that john is graduating and so a ton of folks from val's family will be staying the week with us, which means a full house...unless they are out and about.

so, hopefully the evenings will be a good time for blogging...we'll see.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

every once in awhile i freak out....i have 2 kids!! hahahaha..it is so weird.
when i say "the kids" its a time to pause.
Ezra is great...he is super mellow and very cute.
his smiles are coming a mile a minute.
and he's awfully huge.

We've been listening to alot of Elizabeth Mitchell and Renee and Jeremey loving them.

we have an excitingly full calendar these next months.
Justin going to scotland.
Johns graduation.
Heading to MN for Lorans wedding.
and the Price Family staying with us for a month.
its gonna be a crazy time but full indeed. i am looking forward to evenings outside. and lots of water fights (first of the season already hit).

i sometimes wish i was in a dance crew...and could actually dance.

it is windy and hot right now.
here are some sounds i hear.........
the air conditioner humming
the swing clicking
our wind chime in the front
weird fuzzy static sound coming from who knows where
wind..hot wind..if that has a sound

toodles for now.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Thursday, April 02, 2009

okay well i actually found a moment to sit down and write.
we have 2 kids now. crazy right.
even more crazy is that ezra is already a month old.

in an effort to avoid the 2nd child complex i have tried to keep up with taking photos of sir ezra but have FAILED miserably. Looking back at this blog doesn't help either. i posted weekly photos of Adelaide. wow!
the transition from 1 to 2 has been quite smooth. i think mostly having to do with the fact that our lives are really already set up for children. i already don't sleep. i already have tons of laundry. i already have to haul a ton of stuff wherever we go...so, adding ezra to the mix has been fairly easy.
adelaide has done quite well with him. she loves holding him, reading to him, changing his diaper, and violently shoving the pacifier in his mouth (asleep or awake doesn't matter to her).

topic switch---i can't believe how many people i know personally who have lost their jobs. it is crazy. i can think of 2 folks, justins age with his exact degree who have been laid off in the last month!! CRAZY right. I also know another handfull of folks whose lot has been the same. for awhile i don't think this economic crisis really hit home but more recently it sure has.

there are a million books i am wanting to read these days. i try and put them in my to-read file on GoodReads so that i don't forget to get to them.

IKEA is having there TAX FREE weekend this weekend....HIT IT UP!!!

one more thing...if you have an idle minute and wouldn't mind voting for something. i think its awesome and think these girls would do a fantastic job. read more about the HOPE project here, here and VOTE here.

okay, well i am going to go now since i probably only have about 30 minutes before one of the babes wakes up.
until next time my blog friends.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

surprise surprise.......a blog from me.
well, we just got a labtop maybe this will help me blog a bit more....maybe not.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

## NOTE: this blog is intended for folks invited to our baby shower in February...we thought using my blog would be the easiest way to let folks know what we'd use ##

Hey everyone,

Thanks so much for wanting to come to our baby shower!
We are really excited to celebrate with you the coming of this little boy.
Since there are not that many things that we need we opted out of registering somewhere and thought this would be easier.

As the invite says....please do not feel obligated to bring a gift.....but if you'd like to get us something...below is a list of "stuff" we'd use.
If you click on the item it will take you to a link of the exact item we'd like.

it may get confusing since there isn't a place to write what you got. so, maybe if its the magazine subscription don't officially order it until after the shower. or make sure to keep your receipt for an item... OR maybe you could write in the comment section what you got and we promise not to check it.......

if you have any questions please email me.

SOUZA BABY SHOWER GIFT IDEAS

1. Baby Monitor (we don't have a specific want...any one will do)
2. Booster Eating Chair
3. Making Stuff for Kids book
4. 1 or 2 packages of newborn disposable diapers
5. Boy Blankets (soft, cuddly, wonderful blankies)
6. Baby Sling (we'd like the Brown 5yard with Green Leaf on it..should be $48)
7. 1 or 2 boxes of BioKleen Laundry Detergent (can buy this at Whole Food's Market)
8. 1 or 2 ecobinky's (can buy from Whole Foods as well)
9. Nursing Pads
10. Milk Storage Baggies
11. Boppy Cover
12. Baby Memory/Keepsake Book (we have no preference...just as long as it is for a boy)
13. Newborn beanies, bootie socks (we love Everyday Beautiful and these from Elephant Sauce )
14. Burt's Bee's Baby Lotion (you can buy this from Target, Whole Foods, and loads of other places)
15. 2/3 Bottles made without BPA's (we linked an example but you can get us any brand as long as it says BPA Free-i don't know if mainstream store sell them...they might)
16. Subscription to: Mothering Magazine OR Wondertime Magazine
17. Book: The Creative Family by Amanda Blake-Soule
18. Gift Cards:
Target
Babies R Us
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
19. Fuzzi Bunz Diapers (we still have all the ones we used with Adelaide so, not a major need but can always use more)
20. Here are some websites that we like for clothes....although I think we may be set for the most part.
The Little Seed
Loved Baby
Speesees

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

twice in a couple weeks........i am getting better :)
i just find myself so pooped these days.
with enough energy to play with adelaide and get one or two big things done each day.
although i do feel an overwhelming sense of wanting to clean, wash, and organize unfortunatly not enough energy to get it all done.
argh.

found out from the dr. that according to the ultrasound my due date is around 2/20 instead of 3/1 which i have been focused on. also found out that if i don't deliever by 3/1 she wants to induce me. this made me super anxious and frustrated. so, we'll see what happens here in the next couple weeks. i remember measuring early with adelaide and she ended up being 11 days late. so.........we'll see.
we have a name all picked out which we are very proud of. can't wait to share it with you guys.

well, nothing new to report.
hope all is well.
cheers.

Friday, January 02, 2009

2009!! i am going to try and keep up my blog a bit better these days.

we have enjoyed a wonderful christmas season.
justin has had 2 whole weeks off.
it has been amazing.
both adelaide and i will have a hard time come this monday when he returns to work.

we went for a minnesota visit earlier in the 2 weeks. got to see our family there. build a snowman and sled. then we had a few days at home together. and now we are in reedley with justins fam. good times.

we also went to the movie theatre. we got passes before adelaide was born so we decided to go see a movie...finally. we saw DOUBT. good movie...lots to talk about.

baby boy souza seems to be doing quite well. coming into the world sometime around march 1st. we are excited to meet this young fella' and also totally nervous. i wish i could be more zen about a newborn...but i am just not. it makes me really nervous actually.

my sister should be having a baby in the next week.
my dear friend rebecca had identical twin girls 12/19....they are amazing and so is rebecca.

my lips have been chapped now for about 2 weeks. it is awful. i hate it.

justin won his fantasy football league at work. can you believe it. he had such a fun time playing. he won $250!!! we have nice plans for that money.

well, i hope you all are finding yourselves laughing more than normal.
until next time.
cheerio.